|We’re Now Taking Reservations For Our Day Trip We’re Calling:
MURDER AT THE ROAD KILL CAFE
Saturday – November 10, 2012
We’ll be leaving from the Wal-Mart Store on Hwy. 641 in Camden and travel to “parts unknown only to me”.
We promise to get most of you back to Camden “before the cock crows”.
It was a dark and stormy morning (all murder mysteries seem to start that way). Lightnin’ was flashing,
thunder was thundering, rain was falling and ghosts and other apparitions were flitting around in the dawn sky
(you should see those little devils flitting around in the rain holding their little umbrellas).
Off in the distance, seemingly coming out of nowhere, were two little headlights attached to this big
motorcoach (equipped, of course, with comfortable reclining seats, large picture windows, individual climate
controls and an on board bathroom for your comfort). On board this luxury motorcoach were about 56 folks
just out for a good time….although the guide (that would be me)
wouldn’t tell them where it was they were a’going.
All of a sudden from the back of the coach came a shrill cry “I’m hungry!”. Well, being the customer- service
minded person that I am, I hollered back “So what do you want me to do about it?” Just can’t please
everyone. But just ahead I spotted this interesting place, and since I, too, was getting hungry I instructed the
driver to pull in. She always does what I say….I don’t pay her ‘til we’re back home, you see.
YOU’VE HEARD ABOUT IT! YOU’VE FEARED IT!
YOU HOPED YOU’D NEVER SEE…THE ROAD KILL CAFÉ
“This meal’s on me!” exclaimed the Tour Guide (that’ll be me) “I hear the food is very fresh here”. “Very fresh”
…that’s important…very important. Read on. “Turn Over” That’s the brochure, not your body, by the way.
One look at the menu got our mouths a’watering. Too many good things to choose from…should I have the
poodle on noodles, chucks of skunk, rigor mortis tortoise, pavement cured possum, gizzard of lizard? How
about the chin of hen, broth of moth, snake ‘n’ bake, dog sausage and more entrees to make your stomach
churn. I can’t wait for dessert. I hear the Moose mousse is to die for
(at least that’s what the Moose said just before….well…..it wasn’t a pretty sight).
All of a sudden a shot rings out! Remember that person who hollered earlier “I’m hungry!”. Well, I just hope
he was in the way of the slug. “Slugs”…reckon they’re on the menu?
Haven’t had that since yesterday’s breakfast! But, again I digress.
One thing for certain…somebody done got done in and we’ve got to find out who done the dastardly deed.
We’ll engage the services of a “local authority” to investigate this whole situation and find out who died and
who’s gonna hang fer it. There’s almost as much excitement as when J. R. got shot…
but who did the shooting and who got shot?
It’s more fun and excitement than we’ve had in many a day. We may come home blood spattered but we’ll not
come home empty handed. I understand they’re having a special that Saturday on possum on the half shell
(armadillos) with a side of cutlets of too-slow cats. Yummy!
Deluxe Motor Coach Transportation Services of Experience Tour Guides
One “Delicious” Meal Including Taxes & Tips And More Fun Than The Law Allows!
Call us today to receive a full brochure
584-9395 OR 1-800-874-3166